Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
