is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
