tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
