is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
