It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
