Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
