we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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