that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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