you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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