happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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