just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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