hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
