talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Don't make out with my wife yet
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize