She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
