i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize