I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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