Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
