I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
