Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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