I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
