it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
