I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
