when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
