brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
