I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
