Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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