My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
