you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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