Swine flu. Run for my life!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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