oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like death gave me a hand job
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
