he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
