guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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