Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
