You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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