is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
