all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
