There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
