i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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