Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
