i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
