Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
