I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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