soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
