my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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