it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize