he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How naked do you want me to be?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
