Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
