So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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