Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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