mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
