the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you inspire me to be a worse person
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
