Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
