I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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