god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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