this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
