how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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