i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
