What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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