You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
