What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
