Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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