You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
