I hate all girls vehemently.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
