u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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