You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
