We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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