just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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