I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
