Barsexuality is the new black.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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